Some times people just really do not know how to deal with the pain they go through. I don't really know how to go through the pain I am going through right now. The worst type of pain in my opinion, is a broken heart. Sure some people will disagree and say a broken bone, surgery or getting in a wreck is more painful. But i've broken a lot of bones, have had surgery, and been in a wreck, and nothing comes close to a broken heart. It sucks when the one person you would never think hurt you does. Well actually it sucks when you lied to yourself, and hoped and prayed that he would never hurt you AGAIN, but he did. I think that's the worst kind of heart break. Seeing so much potential in one person and just watching it go down the drain. It really is a terrible feeling, knowing that your whole heart and every bit of happiness you had was in the hands of someone else, and they just take it and crumble it...right in front of your face. I sat in my bed for 3 weeks and cried...i couldn't move, I couldn't eat, I couldn't even sleep...all I could do was cry. After the 3rd week my friends came and started helping me move again, at least get a little feeling back, but I still can't really feel anything. I'm still completely numb. There are moments of happiness when my friends make me laugh, but it never really hits my heart. I don't really know if anything will hit my heart for a long time. I don't think I could go through the pain again. I'm trying to piece my heart together again one fragile piece at a time...right now I'm about about 10% of the 100%. I don't know when or if I will ever get back to the full 100, and to be honest I just don't know if I want to. Sometimes it really sucks to know that the one person who broke your heart, is the only one who can fix it. Hopefully one day...that may happen...probably not though.
